Ralph Ivan Lancaster Jr.

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Ralph Ivan Lancaster Jr.

May 09, 1930 - January 22, 2019

Falmouth - Ralph Ivan Lancaster Jr.

Ralph died peacefully at home with his loving wife by his side. At his request, we share his obituary.

I died on January 22, 2019.

I was born in Bangor, Maine on May 9, 1930, the first child of Mary Katherine (Kelleher) and Ralph Ivan Lancaster, who had married on November 7, 1929. My mother died giving birth to my still-born brother when I was three. I was raised in Bangor by my great aunt and uncle, Bridget (Kelleher) and Charles Milan. They loved me as if I had been their own child, encouraged, and rejoiced in, my every endeavor.

On August 21, 1954, I married Mary Lou Pooler whom I had met in 1944 and loved from that very first meeting. Mary Lou's support and guidance were crucial in every task I undertook and every challenge I met. She was my compass, my guide, my conscience, my partner and my life-long best friend. Our six children, nine grandchildren and four great-grandchildren were the source of great joy, pride, shared love and happiness throughout our married lives. I was fortunate to be invited to join the law firm that is now called Pierce Atwood where I found a second family and work that I loved for over fifty-five years.

I am survived by my wife, Mary Lou, three daughters, three sons, nine grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren. In birth order: Mary Miller and her husband Gary; Anne Lancaster; Elizabeth Lancaster and Alan Peoples; their children Wyatt and his fiancée Stephanie, Alana, and Emmett; Christopher Lancaster and his children, Christopher and his son Tobias, Stephen and his wife Dominique, Brianne and Katelynn; John Lancaster and his sons Matthew Lancaster, his partner Casey and their son, Noah; Nicholas Lancaster and his wife, Laura and their sons Benjamin and Grayson; Martin Lancaster and his fiancée Megan, and by my special cousin/brother, Charles H. Milan, III.

I loved life and believed that you should live fully in the moment. I believed that laughter is the leaven of life.
I believed that we should all:

Dance as if no one is looking
Sing as if no one is listening
Love as if we've never been hurt.

I truly cared for people..... all people.

And I wrote this obituary without a list of major professional accomplishments in order to emphasize that material matters pale into insignificance when compared to the love of family and friends.

Please do not send flowers or make contributions in my memory. If you want to do something that would please me, take someone(s) you love out to dinner, tell her/him/them you love her/him/them and say the things we unfortunately wish we had said before she/he/they died. Use the word "love" frequently, laugh a lot ..... and enjoy the moment.

I did.

Visiting Hours celebrating Ralph's remarkable life will be held on Friday, February 1 from 3-7PM at the Conroy-Tully Walker Funeral Home, 172 State Street, Portland. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Saturday, February 2 at 10AM at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, 307 Congress Street, Portland. Interment will be private at Pine Grove Cemetery in the spring. To view Ralph's memorial page or to share an online condolence, please visit www.ConroyTullyWalker.com
Published on January 24, 2019
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18 posts

IR
Jan 30, 2019
I am very sorry for your loss. Please take comfort from the promise at Acts 24:15. This encouraged my family when we lost our little sister. It gives us something to look forward to. I hope it comforts your family during this time.
Pamela Lancaster McDill
Jan 29, 2019
Ralph Lancaster, Sonny as his family from Veazie knew him, was my first cousin. I have always loved Sonny and was so proud he was my cousin . I feel I can speak for my grandmother, parents aunts and uncles long gone...Sonny was a special person.

Having never met my daughter Deborah, he found time to take her to lunch when in D.C. She was serving in the USCG.

He reached out to me several years ago and a tradition of meeting for lunch a couple of times a year began with him and Mary Lou and Bill and I. A couple of times for lunch in their beautiful home. On occasion Sonny would include children and even a grandchild .

I am so grateful and blessed to have had Sunny as my cousin. I kno
...w I will see him again.

Mary Lou, let's try to keep the tradition alive. Bill and I send our condolences and much love to you and your family..
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Chris McManus
Jan 27, 2019
I have only met this wonderful man a few times, but my mother (Kathleen Flanagan) and father (Reg McManus) were friends with Ike since kindergarten. He and his cohort of compatriots from Bangor have touched my life profoundly. Though his passing saddens me, I am joyful for the gift that his life has been to our world. I pray that the spirit that incubated and produced this wonderful brood of people of remarkable character spreads to nurseries everywhere for the next generation and our future. Such a bright light he has been.
Ray and Marylou Cormier
Jan 27, 2019
A lifelong friend and classmate of my older brother Gerry Cormier.
Re-United once again and at Peace.
Prayers for the family
Judith Milan
Jan 26, 2019
Sorry for your loss.You always have your memories . God Bless.
Vicki Bourret Mason
Jan 26, 2019
So sorry for the loss of such a wonderful man. His wit and humor will be remembered always!
Lisa Millimet
Jan 25, 2019
To Ralph's family, I didn't know Ralph, knew nothing about him. But today, eating lunch in Belfast, I saw his obituary. It so profoundly moved me. What a life spirit he was! I can hardly imagine being so complete, so free, so present. What a gift he had, what a gift he must have been. To have been so alive, to feel so loved by creation. Thank you, Ralph. I will carry your spirit with me daily now.
Jane Sanborn Ice
Jan 25, 2019
Ivan was a bright star in the landscape of Catholic education in Bangor, Maine. He attended St.Mary's Church, School
John Bapst High, where I as a student, knew him in the 30,s and 40's. He excelled in every way:socially,academically, in clubs and drama, often leading man.

Opening the 1948 Bapstonian Yearbook,
there's Ivan, at the senior prom, happy and wearing the smile he must have carried through out life. He created heaven in life and must feel very much at home there now.
My condolences to his loving family.
Jane Sanborn Ice
BK
Jan 25, 2019
Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life's routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friends. (1 Thessalonians 4:14)
Harry and Sharon Rideout
Jan 25, 2019
Mary Lou: we extend our sincere sympathy to you and your family, as you grieve Ralph’s death. May your wonderful memories be shared with family and friends, as you commemorate the life he lived. Your treasure trove will be overflowing.
Blessings always.
Harry and Sharon Rideout
Jan 25, 2019
Mary Lou: we extend our sincere sympathy to you and your family, as you grieve Ralph’s death. May your wonderful memories be shared with family and friends, as you commemorate the life he lived. Your treasure trove will be overflowing.
Blessings always.
peter jacobs
Jan 24, 2019
One could go on for many pages and still fall short of capturing this truly extraordinary man. It was my privilege to have him for a mentor, a colleague and a friend. Ralph will be missed by so very many. My prayers are with Mary Lou and the Lancaster family.
Shelly Northup
Jan 24, 2019
Ralph Lancaster it was an honor meeting you and being by your side as you needed me. God bless you🌹
Ann St. Peter-Griffith
Jan 24, 2019
Thoughts and prayers are with the entire Lancaster and Pierce Atwood families.
Dan Wathen
Jan 24, 2019
Rest In Peace, friend and colleague. Your influence on the legal profession will endure.
Jo-Ann Kayatta
Jan 24, 2019
We have lost a wise and remarkable man who had such a deep love of family. He certainly has left his mark on the world. My deepest condolences to his family.
JIM MICHAUD
Jan 24, 2019
WOW!!! I never met nor knew Ralph , but I know that I would have been a better man for it. I am a better man for having read his deeply touching obituary. My profound condolences are extended to you, during this time surrounding the departure of an obviously very wise and special man.
Jan 24, 2019